Immortalizing Life’s Chapters
One afternoon after receiving an amazing massage from Cristina Menzie she mentioned her Grandfather Sid. I was immediately curious about him. She told me that his wife, her Grandmother and the love of his life of many decades died five years ago. Since then he started wearing skirts, growing breasts and whistling a specific song under his breath just as she had. I have often wondered about how our elders cope with the loss of their lifetime mates. I am particularly interested in the ones who were in a harmonious union build on mutual love and respect. What Christina described to me was a theory I have had that sometimes the two will merge into the living ones body when one departs and that they live on as one until they have both die. I asked her if I could photograph him when I was in Southern California and the timing worked out miraculously that we would both be there at the same time. It was an absolute honor to immortalize images of a man in his 80’s who has lived so much life. He has embraced his authentic self. He has been brave enough to reconcile and make amends with his family so that they can be close in his last years. I am forever grateful for my time with him.
Sid
Sid is brilliant. He loves to build. He has worked on his home for decades. He built an electric car that he would drive Christina to school in when she was young, long before they were on the market. He is capable of creating with his mind and hands just about anything one can name. He owned a cash register business back when they were a new and maintained them in many businesses in Southern California. He is very much the self made man of olden days. A living myth of what the American dream has sustained itself on.
Sid fell in love with his Elanor and became Father to her children. She owned a Folk Art import business. Their mutual love overcame their idealogical differences and they spent over forty years happily married.
Sid was historically also quite conservative and gruff. He has undergone a major shift and is now gentle, curious and kind. Throughout our time together he was very open and generous in self expression. At the same time he had very strong and clear boundaries. Such a force of strength I felt from him I could see a glimpse of how he could have been frightening in the past.
Sid discovered skirts when seeking an alternative to building in the heat. He found skirts to be incredibly comfortable. He sewed pockets onto them to hold onto tools. Then he discovered fancy skirts and loved them for their comfort and beauty. His main concern was to not make others feel uncomfortable by being a man in a skirt. He shared with me that he has grown breasts and loves the way he looks like a fighter when he is wearing his winter leggings and goes topless. He has discovered his love of dressing up. He regularly dresses up and has his daughter take photographs of him.
Sid is living testimony that people can change. Some become less tolerant with age. Sid became more tolerant which opened up whole new worlds for him and instigated healing within his family. When Christina was a child he was her main abuser. He was steady with his love towards her. And he was quite cruel. This is unfortunately common in families. It can understandably drive them apart. It takes immense strength and vulnerability to confront and heal. Each individual can decide what is a line that crossed beyond repair. In Sid’s case he was able to acknowledge the harm he did and be present with it. This way there was repair and he has the immense benefit of being with and knowing the generations of his family. This is one path for generational healing.
Sid Is Living Testimony That People Can Change
Direct Healing Of Wounds Within A Lifetime
Bonds Forged Outside Of The Bounds Of Blood
It was an absolute pleasure photographing Sid and being allowed in his world. Knowing firsthand that sometimes elders are incapable of confronting the past I found him to be an inspiration. When these things are not faced it leaves a person trapped and unable to evolve. I love that he has found his evolution. With this evolution he found a new way to dress, a new song to whistle, sweet love with his family and an appreciation of his physical form.
It is my hope that humans can love their bodies and reflections as they age. It is a privileged to get wrinkles. There is beauty in all our ages, shapes and forms.
I used Lomochrome 100 and Candido 800~ either end of the spectrum seemed appropriate for this shoot.
Growing up every once in a while out of the blue Sid would say to Christina “Beautiful brown eyes, you got them from me.” Sometimes he would sing it like the song. She always felt chosen and loved by him as if they were bonded by blood.